240 I Can Read You Like a Book
toward another group, even if those people share your circum-
stances, functions as a safety valve.
The chosen spokesperson may be super-typical, or perhaps a
puppet moved to the forefront by the super-typical to confront. The
purpose is to let you know that you have violated the tribe’s terri-
tory. Maybe your crime is that you haven’t refilled the toner in the
copy machine when it was low. Regardless of cause, the body
language is confrontational. If the issue is small, so is the body
language, but if the issue is perceived as dire, the person’s behavior
may approach fight or flight. The gravity of the issue is dictated by
the tribe’s frame of reference. One common thread is the
spokesperson’s need for support from the group. If others are
present, you may see darting eyes of uncertainty in the spokesper-
son as she looks for approval and reenforcement from the group—
raised brows, wide open eyes as she looks at the rest of the tribe.
On October 24, 2005, Oprah Winfrey’s interview with 9/11
widow Kathy Trant first aired. Her story of a “shopping addiction”
to ease the pain of her loss had brought her infamously to the atten-
tion of the world. In asking her questions, Oprah’s lilt at the end of
her voice and raised eyebrows served as subconscious cues indi-
cating, “Come with me into this train of thought, even though it
might prove incriminating to you.” It was Oprah’s figurative way of
holding Kathy Trant’s hand and leading her into uncomfortable ter-
ritory. Trant, whose spending spree included gifts of plastic surgery
for friends—and obviously for herself—seemed Botoxed out of the
ability to render normal facial responses. Even when she shed tears
in response to Oprah’s painful questions, nothing on her face moved.