The Man in the Street 241
The contrast seemed particularly sharp in view of Oprah’s
demonstrative eyebrows, eyes, and body. During a couple of
exchanges, Oprah turned to the camera (the audience), widened
her eyes and raised her brows, as if to say, “Do you believe her?”
It was a request-for-approval look—and it’s highly unlikely that
Oprah made it in a calculating way. Nevertheless, it had the effect of
drawing the audience intimately into the exchange. If Kathy Trant lied
to Oprah, then she would be lying to every person in the audience.
In a meeting, I do what Oprah did, but deliberately. If someone
puts forth an idea that I disagree with, I know I need to take spe-
cific actions to have the group adopt my plan as their consensus
position. After the other presenter speaks, I might look around the
table and say, in polite terms, “You’re kidding me, right?” I’ll raise
my hands so that everyone is focused on me, with me. He sees
that, and has to back down.
War as play
Is war just a competitive, team sport? All I have to do here is
mention the word football, but I could add the pop-culture phenom-
enon called reality TV. The pleasure that some people get out of
taking risks simply for the adrenaline rush of putting their lives, or at
least their safety, in danger is the premise behind “war as play.”
The additional, cultural reinforcement to repeat the performance
is the reward of accolades—hero worship. The same behavior plays
out every day in offices and on children’s soccer fields across the
United States. Confrontation as play means we have less at stake