Using Body Language to Your Advantage in Business 251
Most work behind the scenes and have the body language of
secretiveness. They may instigate by sharing information or asking
questions that get others to uncover the facts.
The best way to combat the instigator is to have him publicly
endorse you, as in “keep your friends close, and enemies closer.”
Once the instigator endorses you—and this “declaration” may be
solely in the form of body language that clearly realigns his relation-
ship with you—he runs the risk of losing his credibility if he attacks
you or backs away. You have something to hold over him with his
co-conspirators. You have the key to causing public humiliation.
The advisor
You can also spot the advisor rather easily. This golden-haired
child has gained the confidence of the king, so he can place his
words directly into the king’s ear. This has occurred either because
the king fears his power or identifies with him. There are two types:
- The you’re like me advisor. You cannot win a head-
to-head confrontation with an advisor in front of oth-
ers without first pointing out that he is very different
from the alpha. Disgracing him is a direct assault on
the alpha, after which, the advisor can just step away
and watch you fall. The only way to win the argu-
ment is one on one, or by first separating him from
the alpha; that is, divide and conquer. This can come
about by your playing instigator in open meetings:
you ask questions that spotlight the differences to
clarify the point to alpha. And then, once the alpha
starts to ask the questions, you wait for the fireworks.