Using Body Language to Your Advantage in Business 257
they allow you to navigate more effectively among warring parties.
My personality and training give me a tendency to see all points of
view, which helps in finding the sore points for each person and
achieving common ground to move everyone ahead as a team.
You are developing the skills to see what lies beneath—to under-
stand what a person is feeling, but not saying. Use that to reach the
person on a deeper level and understand the issue from her perspective.
Talk about the elephant in the room
When someone’s body language screams, “I have a problem
with you,” but his mouth is saying, “Everything is fine,” he secretly
wants to get the problem into the open air. No one likes that feeling
of pent-up frustration. The person will feel better about you for
addressing the issue. People feel strangely obligated to those who
relieve stress, even if they are the source of the stress.
Read the pauses and rushes
People leave pauses in awkward places and rush statements
as a way of asking you to delve deeper. They may not be doing it on
a conscious level, but these stops and starts are a request just the
same. Listen for the non-verbal clues and look for the request-for-
approval body language that says, “Are you going to let me get
away with that?” or “You do believe me, don’t you?”
Use the inclination of humans for social norming
Chapter 2 touched on the nature of humankind. The more
often you conduct a meeting that is successful and everyone feels