258 I Can Read You Like a Book
as though they are a valued participant, the more invested they
become in your culture. As I said before, people do not go to war
against people similar to themselves. You do not need some guru to
have you fall backwards into each others’ arms in a trust exercise
to create a cohesive unit. The alpha sends the norms.Look for patterns of behavior
Some patterns of behavior roll down from the top of the moun-
tain and others sprout from the ground. Observe your corporate
microculture so you know where the social norming starts.
Does your company have homesteaders (cubes that remind
you of home) or crypt dwellers (stone cold, no photos or personal
effects)? These external signs can be great indicators of the thoughts
of people in your company, particularly whether or not they have a
sense of trust and relationship with people. Does their body
language reinforce your conclusion?Be honest
A refreshing change, and a side effect, of your understanding
body language is that you will be hypersensitive to your own behavior
when you lie. You will notice every unplanned pause and wrong
accessing cue. You will see yourself barriering when you do not
want to be discovered. The stress can be unbearable.
Life is much easier after you know this. You will be predis-
posed to keep communication straightforward and honest. There is
another one of those social norms I told you I would implant as a
result of your reading this book. You are now stuck with this one.