270 I Can Read You Like a Book
Does his tone, cadence, posture, or barriering change when
you get near a topic you are concerned about? If so, there is
another cause for concern.
I go into much more detail about deciphering such behavior in
How to Spot a Liar. One final thing to remember is that your eyes
are jaundiced by emotion if you have gotten to this point. You will
have a hard time being truly objective.
The best opportunity to get the truth is to use your own pro-
jected body language to express genuine concern and remind the
person that you are part of the same tribe. Show that you matter,
and that lying to you or mistreating you is painful. If you can come
across as forgiving and willing to listen, and identify with your part-
ner, you may get the person to confess his or her violation of your
entitlement. If it is something big, then at least you have a factual
basis for deciding on a course of action. Something small? Establish
clearer expectations so that it never becomes something big.
I cannot say this often enough: Body language skills are not
party tricks; they offer you a serious ability to improve communica-
tion and operate more effectively in all kinds of environments. Do
not inflict your new tools on people around you. You will only make
them nervous and possibly resentful.