66 I Can Read You Like a Book R
To get good at reading body language, go out and do the “R”
over and over. Open your eyes and ears. Turn off your biased,
over-analytical brain and observe the way a child observes. A
toddler sees objects and actions in a more stand-alone way than
adults, who go to extraordinary means to make connections. He
has no preexisting framework to overlay his observations onto, so
he’s a much better collector of pure body language than older, well-
socialized people. If you place a wrapped box on the table in front
of a young child capable of speech, the questions are endless. As
you get older, you answer the questions for yourself, assuming you
know what everything means.
So as you dive into the following lists, suspend your adult brain.
Twist your face into the positions I describe; watch your arms and
legs in the mirror as you mimic postures. Watch other people
assume these shapes with their face and body—but just to collect
information. No judgment is allowed at this stage. Look for simi-
larities, look for differences, and that’s it.
It will be easier for you to remove your filters—your blinders—
from the E.A.D. parts of the process after you get good at “R.” In
a way, this is similar to practicing the fundamental moves of a sport
before going out to play a game because you want to develop a
muscle memory that supports consistent performance.
This top-to-bottom look at body language has two parts:
- A look at the isolated movements and responses of
body.
