NLP At Work : The Difference That Makes the Difference in Business

(Steven Felgate) #1
a large proportion of the population feels about the work they
do?
On the other hand, when we imagine what we do want we
have corresponding body language. This is how people who
think this way influence the achievement of their goals: They
are acting as if they already have achieved them and the world
responds accordingly. Their behavior is likely to “hang loose,”
they are relaxed, have loose facial muscles, easy moving limbs,
flowing movements. If we watch and listen to the way we are
using our bodies, we can get clues about what we are doing that
is either helping or hindering us to achieve what we really want.
Our posture, our gestures, and our facial expressions and
lines communicate the habits we have developed in our lives.
Take a look in the mirror: What is your face telling you?

Some of us like to be liked and to please other people and
some of us would rather have confrontation and argument.
Sometimes we prefer one approach in one context and
another in a different context. Whichever approach we like
better shows in the way we behave. Someone who searches for
similarity (matching) will seek to be like the person or people
they are with in every way they can. They will move like them,
dress like them, look like them.
You may have noticed how couples who are close to each
other seem to grow to look alike. This is not surprising when
you think that people who are fond of each other or in love will
match each other’s behavior and expressions. Over time the
lines that form on their faces will be similar. Even if their basic
face structure is different, the habits they form together will
show in the way their bodies develop over time. Take a look at
your partner: Do you like what you see? You may be looking at
a mirror image of yourself!
So someone who creates a climate of rapport naturally—
someone who is very approachable and is easy company—is
usually someone who matches others around them. This
doesn’t mean that they agree with everything other people
say. However, they will be searching for the opportunity to
support other people in some way, building them up rather
than knocking them down. Their behavior, including their
movements, their posture, their facial expressions, their

72 NLP AT WORK


Acting as if we have already
achieved our goals

What is your face telling you?

OUR RELATIONSHIPS


WITH OTHERS

Free download pdf