Since a person wants to be IMPORTANT (and
everyone does), tell him he is important, treat him as an
important person and, in every possible way, become an
asset to his importance and an assurance that his impor-
tance will not be diminished.
Since a person wants to be ADMIRED (and
everyone does), tell him that you admire him, tell others
that you admire him, and show your admiration for him
as a person, for his achievements, his family, his posses-
sions. Do all these things tactfully, even subtly-because
nothing is more offensive than insincere Hattery of an-
other for your own direct or indirect gain. So be sure that
your admiration is genuine and sincere. You can do this
by diligently seeking those attributes and possessions you
sincerely can admire. You'll be surprised (and, I hope,
pleased) at all the admirable qualities, accomplishments,
relations and possessions other people have-if you just
make a sincere effort to look for them 1 And, you'll find
the effort well worth while.
Since a person wants to be APPRECIATED
(and everyone does), show your appreciation in every
possible way. Unlike admiration, which might be suspect
of insincerity if not tactfully done, there is hardly any way
in which you are likely to overdo appreciation. In fact,
appreciation is almost always too little and too late-and
given with too little imaginationl
To fully express appreciation in the usual ways
will earn you a degree of distinction because appreciation
is seldom fully expressed, if at all. But to use a little
imagination, to go to a little extra trouble and expense in