Life Skills Education Toolkit

Children affected by and infected with HIV
undergo trauma and loss of loved ones.^26 To
understand how to help children cope with trauma
and grief, it is necessary to understand the concept
of attachment in children, the different stages of
grief and how children at different ages react to it.

Attachment

Attachment behavior characterizes human
behavior from the cradle to the grave. It includes
crying, calling for care, following and clinging, and
also strong protest should a child be left alone or
with strangers. Although the frequency and
intensity of the behavior decreases with age, it
persists in a less intense form in human behavior.
In adults, it will emerge when a person is
distressed, ill or afraid.

Attachment takes place through a repeated

interaction and response initially between child

and caregiver/parent and later between child

and other important people in the larger social

setting. Through the process of attachment, the

child comes to see him or herself as a

worthwhile human being who is lovable and

can function in responsible ways in

relationships with others as well.

When the process of attachment gets disrupted, a

number of problems emerge. If children cannot

count on dependable, positive and continuing

interactions, children will suffer from low self-

esteem, anxiety and ambivalence (seek attention

or outwardly reject offers of help). Children may

seem angry, distant or estranged.

STAGES OF GRIEF

Stages Possible Feelings Possible Behavior

Early response: avoidance Sense of denial, disbelief, Listlessness, hyperactivity and prone

shock and panic to illness

Acute grief Extreme sadness, anger, guilt, Pining, searching, restless, crying,

shame, yearning, despair, lack of concentration and prone to

anxiety/worry and fear illness

Adjustment and Less preoccupied, shows Shows interest in life, forms other

establishment, interest in other things, attachments (can relate well in the

reorganization of life in a remembers the lost new family) and better

new reality person without acute pain concentration

and higher self esteem

At different ages, children react differently to grief, and by understanding their needs, they can be
helped to cope with the loss.

(^26) Summarized from Humuliza Project, Part I Training Modules for Teachers, TDH, Switzerland. Table of stages of grief from
Compilation of Psychosocial Training Materials for the Emotional Well being Evaluation of OVC, SCORE/FHI, Pg.54.
Information Sheet No. 6
Helping Children to Cope with Grief