34 • PART FOUR : BACKGROUND READING
Age Possible reactions Suggestions for coping
2-6 • Does not have a clear concept of death • Constantly reassure that you will not
and believe parent/loved one is leave him or her
separated and will return- May think disappearance is because • Spend a few minutes until they fall
of their bad behavior sleep or allow to sleep next to you for
a while or comfort during a nightmare - React with anxious attachment and • Give the child an object to sleep with
fear of separation • Give more attention and talk to them - Afraid of sleeping • Minimize other stress and other changes
- Regress to earlier behavior (e.g. thumb such as leaving the family or community
-sucking, bedwetting) • Depending on whether a father or mother - Nightmares has died, try to find a trusted gender role
model (teacher or health worker) - Play can be therapeutic
6-12 •Understands death and that is final and • Counseling and help with expressing
wants to know details of who the feelings through play or talk
deceased person was with and where
the body is, participate in funerals - Depression, withdrawal, feel tired • Allow feelings of sadness; it is normal
- Denial of feelings, ‘frozen’ inside • Deal tactfully with problems at school
- Feelings of guilt; something to do with • Try to find special abilities and build on them
their own behavior - Restless and cannot concentrate • Encourage to participate in community
or other activities - Extreme behavioral changes, e.g. • If too aggressive, do not punish but use
boys can become very aggressive, techniques of ‘time out,’ e.g. child is told
by shouting. to sit himself or herself but MUST not be - Anxiety behavior, e.g., nail biting, rocking left alone.
- Psychosomatic symptoms
12-16 •Understand fully the concept of death • Allow them to grieve, be sad, especially
and may have to take on adult roles if they are expected to take on adult roles - Feelings of revenge, strong aggression, • Show interest in them no matter what
hate especially in boys their behavior - Girls express by ‘searching for ideals’ to • Establish some structure in their lives
try to do good; this also makes them and some rules of conduct
vulnerable to anyone who shows a • Need to know that someone is in
little comfort control of their lives and cares - Self destructive behavior such as • Work with teachers to assist and not punish
rebellion, high risks, suicide • Use the capacities and strengths of the - Psychosomatic complaints adolescent
- Learning difficulties • Try to help support groups with peers
- Deep pessimism for future