mother went to the mirror and said, “Mirror, mirror,
on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” and instead
of, “You are, sweetheart,” the mirror said, “Snow
White.” And just like us, she didn’t want to hear it.
Nevertheless, I think we all know that there’s no
point in blaming the mirror when it shows you your
own face, and there’s certainly no point in breaking
the mirror.
I once knew a very powerful woman who always
managed to have everything go her way. The epitome
of her approach to life was that she had a scale in her
bathroom that was always turned down so that when
she stood on it she weighed exactly what she wanted
to weigh. When you look in the mirror and see that
you have a big pimple on the end of your nose, and
you decide to actually see it and let yourself wince
and feel the embarrassment and nevertheless just
go about your business, then when a five-year-old
comes rushing up to you and says, “Hey lady, you have
a big pimple on the end of your nose!” you just say,
“I know.” But if you try to cover that pimple over
with cosmetics or a nosebag, you are shocked and
offended when it turns out that everyone can see
it anyway.
This tendency to refer back to ourselves, to try to
protect ourselves, is so strong and all-pervasive. A
simple way of turning it around is to develop our cu-
riosity and our inquisitiveness about everything. This
is another way of talking about helping others, but of
192 High-Stakes Practice