44 BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
IN THE BEGINNING
She's afraid of the same things you are—being
used, humiliated or rejected during courtship. She
has her pride, just as you do. She can't respond di-
rectly to your advances without risking rejection by
you. You could just be flirting or playing Cavalier. If
she comes back with openness and receptivity you
might laugh at her for taking you seriously.
To convince her you're safe, interesting and at-
tractive, you must be yourself, at your best, of
course.
To be successful, you must religiously follow the
Eleven Commandments Of Meeting. You can't break
even one!
THE ELEVEN COMMANDMENTS OF^MEETING
I. Thou shalt not start out hard
II. Thou shalt not look at her breasts or buns
III. Thou shalt not mention the ex or children
TV. Thou shalt not look at other females
V. Thou shalt not talk over or down to her
VI. Thou shalt not be slick and smooth
VII. Thou shalt not be negative or cynical
VIII. Thou shalt not mention sex
IX, Thou shalt not ask about boyfriends
X. Thou shalt not touch, except to shake hands
XI. Thou shalt not reveal a standing interest in her.
To be successful, pay attention to what is being
said with, and without, words. Although the next
chapter is written principally for men, assertive
women can do the same things as the two of you
have your first Conversations Without Words.
So, thru the eyes, love attains the heart
For the eyes are the scouts of the heart
And the eyes go reconnoitering for
What it would please the heart to possess.
And when they are in full accord, firm
All in one resolve, at that time,
Perfect love is born from what the eyes
Have made welcome to the heart.
12th century troubadour's song
JOSEPH CAMPBELL, THE POWER OF MYTH
Just one look, that's all it took.
DORIS TROY, 1956
Conversations
Without Words
Most of us are slightly afraid as well as somewhat
excited in settings where social interaction is ex-
pected and required. So, most people do not sit or
stand in an open posture. But, during courtship, the
more open the other person's posture is, the more
open that person is to you and your advances.
OPEN AND CLOSED
If you're wide open while sitting, your posture is
similar to Abe Lincoln's in the Lincoln Memorial.
Your feet are flat on the floor. Your hands are re-
laxed, not clenching anything. And, you're not hold-
ing a drink in front of yourself as a symbolic barrier.
While standing, you're open when your hands are
not in your pockets. You are not leaning against
anything. Your feet are flat on the floor. And, your
drink is not in front of you.