© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Here’s a tip that can only be used once per gal, but is your wild card for a great make-up
after an argument. It is not to be used as a kiss-up or buy-her-affections gift, only as a bandage
over a potentially horrendous error on your part.
What you do is buy something small, reasonably inexpensive, and nice, like a silver
bracelet. You wrap it up and keep it hidden. When you have a falling out or an argument, and
you feel that it could use this boost to keep things together – or maybe have some great make-
up sex – you pull out the wild-card. You say, “Look I was thinking of giving this to you in a week
or so, but this feels like the right time.” I can almost guarantee you’ll melt her heart on this one.
Just remember, this is a wild-card, and is not to be repeated! You do not want a girl on
your hip that is used to being bought gifts. It should only be used when you have screwed up
big time and want to remedy the situation. Never give her gifts or reward her when she has
made the error.
If you want to last over the long haul, you’ll also have to start meeting a minimum level of
certain relationship requirements. Consider these the vitamins you’ll need to give to the
relationship to keep things healthy.
Romance: She requires a certain amount of healthy affection and attention to survive
with you. You need to keep up a lot of the courting behavior that got you going in the first place.
Things like holding hands, occasional back-rubs, and this includes a certain (small) number of “I
Love You”s. Don’t be a Nice Guy and think that the more you tell her you love her, the better off
you’ll be. These are just words, and prove nothing to her. Don’t just tell her; show her.
Restraint: Make no mistakes, you’ll never be able to satisfy all her needs. It can’t be
done. And, from time to time you’ll have to get into some mandatory skirmishes over
expectations you’re not meeting. For a woman, there is no perfect relationship. There is always
something that needs work. If she’s in complete bliss, you’re missing something.
Arguments are the dynamic tension in relationships. They are the equivalent of keeping
a calculated amount of slack in a rope as you pay it out. Think of this rope as being tied
between Romance and Restraint. You won’t know where the limits of the relationship are until
you pull it taut from time to time.
Restraint also means that you fight against over-familiarity. You know the saying:
Familiarity breeds contempt. Well, I’d take that one to heart if I were you. Too much of anything
is a bad thing, and especially when it comes to you. If you want things to last, you must remain
a challenge to her to the end of your days.
You’re probably asking, what about me? What vitamin do I take to make things last?