© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.through this, too.) When she hits the end of her twenties, she starts to understand that she’s
approaching the big three-oh – and she hasn’t had any babies. She sees her sisters building
little families, and even if she hasn’t been fully sold that she should become a mother, she
thinks she ought to, because time is running out and she doesn’t want to miss the opportunity.
She’s probably heard that misquoted statistic about women who don’t marry by 35 never do,
and fear strikes her heart like Igor ringing the bells of Notre Dame. She has a lifetime of
programs instilled in her that say that a woman in our society gets married, gets a house, and
starts making babies when she’s in her thirties. If she doesn’t, there’s something wrong with her.
It’s at this point that she takes on what I call the Blood-scent. The reason I call it this is
because you can smell it on her a mile away, just by her attitudes and almost manic focus on all
things marriage and family related. She subscribes to “Bride” even when she’s not dating. She
dotes on her nephews and nieces as if the were her own. She goes home at night and burns
ceremonial incense to the pagan gods if they will bring her a man and keep her womb fertile.
Okay, so I took this a little extreme, but you get my point. Every man has seen this
woman around, and been scared like hell when one snares him. How do you spot her?
- She’s very interested in dating you, almost coming across as a bit fervent and
manic. You feel her sizing you up when introduced by a friend. You swear
you might have even seen fangs when she smiled at you. - She’s the one who asked/begged her female and male friends to hook her up
with everyone they knew. - She’s talks a lot about marriage, babies, houses, and life plans.
- She doesn’t seem to be living her life, all so that she won’t scare off a
potential husband. She doesn’t see that her difficulty in having successful
relationships is an indicator that she’s placing far too much importance on her
programmed goal of getting married rather than living out her life. - She laments that there are no good men out there, looking for only her
“knight in shining armor.” She wants a man and a family to complete her.
Is she bad? No, not at all. She’s just going after what she wants, the same way you are.
The mistake I’ve seen being made by this woman all the time is that she allows her goal to
cloud her vision – and her selection process. Instead of finding a man she can bond with and
forge a solid relationship, she wants the one who will father her children and provide. She also
does this by ignoring her own life and becomes what she thinks she needs to be to get a
husband. She will succeed, but down the road, after twenty-odd years of child-rearing, there’s
not much left between her and the man to keep the relationship from dissolving. She’s blinding
herself to the prerequisite of a good match and selling herself into the Marriage Program.
THE PROGRAM WOMAN...........................................................................................................................
This is a type of woman I didn’t include in the previous section for a reason. I don’t feel
there’s anything necessarily wrong with her desire, only that looking to fulfill herself through a
fairy-tale family skews her decision process. Happily-ever-after is what she’s been looking for
her whole life, ignoring herself. Her goal is a distortion created from her self-image. This makes
it doubly important that you have your goals clear and can see what is happening.
The Program Woman has had a plan, ever since she first read Cinderella and Sleeping
Beauty – or at least the sugary-sweet Disney versions – and decided she knew the exact family
unit she wanted to acquire. She played with dolls and doll houses almost exclusively as a little