© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.hers, but still fun for both of you. How does she react? What we’re looking for is
flexibility. If she whines about going to the pool, or going to the park to run the
dog, or stretching out of her comfort zone, you’re looking at a limited future.
Growth here is unlikely, and you’ll feel stifled very soon. Is she consistent/stable/sane? – If there’s one thing that will leave you on the edge
of emotional breakdown, it’s riding her rollercoaster. Inconsistent behavior is the
sure-fire recipe for your misery. You usually don’t have to test for stability, you just
keep your eyes open for erratic or crazy behavior. The red flags will tell you all you
need to know – if you don’t ignore them.
Is she a good woman of character? – You want a good woman with integrity.
Bottom line.
The test? There are many. One is to go to an ice cream shop. Give her a five-dollar
bill and ask her to order you a chocolate cone while you use the men’s room. When
you get back, see if she gives you the change.
Most of her integrity and character will register with you at an intuitive level. You may
not always know what the specifics are, but you know darn well when she does
something that rings as off kilter. Trust your intuition, it will rarely let you down.
Is she a Program Woman? – There was a recent online survey reported on
CNN.com (which, really, anyone could have figured out with an ounce of common
sense) that reported men as waiting longer to get married, and therefore women are
the ones on the wedding prowl. When a woman hits her late twenties/early thirties,
her clock is ticking, LOUD. Hey, the reality is that men and women are here to a
large degree to procreate, or else the human species would die out. There is nothing
wrong with this need, but it may not be what you are looking for.
How do you test for the Program Woman? The best way is to initiate conversation
about her family and listen to what she says about them. Listen. No, really, Slick,
shut up for at least 50-75% of the conversation and listen to what she focuses on
talking about. Does she emphasize her family? Her nieces or nephews? Or does she
talk about her planned motorcycle trip through the Grand Canyon. Hmm. She just
loves her friend’s new baby? Does she seem to be putting things on ‘hold’ until her
significant other comes along to sweep her off her feet? Or is her life moving on
anyway. Listen to the slant of her questions. Is she asking you about your cave and
your hunting ability? You may be being looked at as provider material. An active test
would be to bring up the topic of marriage in a very general way and carefully
observe her words and body language. Tell her about any friends of yours that are
engaged and see how she runs with that ball. Or make faces at a little kid and say
that he or she is “so cute.” See what she says about that.
Does she give as good as she gets? – One of the most important traits a woman
should have is her ability to give to you. There are givers, there are takers, but ideally
you want a giver and a taker. She should be just as into pleasing you as you are into
pleasing her. The test? It’s called the door-lock test. Early on, when you’re driving
her places, be sure you’re opening the door for her and letting her get in the car first.