© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.GIVE THEM THE TEST..............................................................................................................................1
This is one female behavior that I think we men need to seize and use for ourselves. It’s
going to take some guts, but it’s worth it.
What I propose is that men need to start testing women, and as early as possible. Our
time is valuable, as is our money and our emotional investment opportunities. The quicker you
find out if this woman is a No-Thank-You (AKA, kick her to the curb), you can get back to finding
the Yes-Please ladies.
Here are my ideas for men’s tests: (And please note that these tests are for both your
benefit and hers.)
Is she a gold-digger? -- Guys, let’s face it; money is the equivalent of the
Neanderthal with excellent hunting ability and a nice cave. Women are still looking
for our ability to provide, no matter how much they work to equal us in the workplace
and with their careers. There are more studies than I can point to that show how
unfulfilled women are with their ‘corporate’ lifestyle. Not that women aren’t 100% as
capable as men, but a woman’s satisfaction has never been solely about her
breadwinning ability. A woman is very much family-oriented and still wants to fill her
inherently female roles. They also still want to know that you can provide for them, if
and when they want to engineer a nice little family.
The test? Your first two to three ‘dates’ should be inexpensive and fun – emphasis
on the fun. I provided some ideas earlier in the book. If she acts disappointed with
what you arrange, and you suspect it’s because you aren’t buying her trinkets or
spending a fortune on a meal at Wolfgang Puck’s palace o’ cuisine, you need to give
her the boot. Don’t be too cheap, but don’t be lavish, either. Also, be very coy about
describing your work in terms that would allow her to assume your salary. Tell her
about the gratification you get from your work, not the fact that you’re an investment
banker. Get it? (Also note that if she seems to be curious in general about your
provider potential, it’s not always gold digging. She may need the last test listed
below.) Is she a bore? -- Ever dated a girl that you could tell was about as fun as a root
canal? You start out all hunky-dory, then she starts to grate on your nerves. Your
interest level nosedives, and the sex, if you’re getting it, starts to lose its pizzazz.
Let’s be clear: The best relationship is where your girl is easy-going and fun to hang
with, not a chore. Try and imagine fifty years of this gal at your side and you’ll get
some perspective.
The test? You need to press a few of her buttons, delicately at first. Teasing is a
great start. Teasing also tests her self-esteem as well as her sense of humor. If she’s
insecure, her reaction will be to withdraw and be distant. You should not react by
trying to comfort her if this is the reaction she gives you, by the way. A simple “I’m
kidding” or “lighten up!” should be given. Be careful, don’t insult her. Teasing nicely is
a great test for her sense of self worth. If she gets really defensive ... watch out.
o Another test for the “Is she a bore?” scenario is to suggest (sometime around the
second or third date) doing something that is more your interest, not necessarily