© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.DATING DYSFUNCTION..........................................................................................................................
There are many traps you can fall into with women, and I will give you some of the tools
to recognize and handle these better. If you ignore these seemingly small hiccups along the
way, you will discover that they fester at the core of your attitude and feelings for her, and things
will fall into a negative spiral. If you want a great example to learn from, watch the Hollywood
star’s romances (not their movies) and notice what works and doesn’t work there. Watching just
about any young actor’s romantic exploits is like watching a documentary on every dating
dysfunction imaginable.
MOODS...................................................................................................................................................
“Think before you speak, or suffer for your words.”Moods are a fundamental part of understanding women. Moods are the moment-to-
moment shifts in emotion that we all experience. Moods color your experience. The world looks
dark and depressing when you’re down. When you’re up, even a rainstorm can have inspiring
significance.
Moods swing all on their own. If you’ve ever tried to catch a football on the bounce, you
have an idea of how unpredictable moods can be – especially with women. You can’t control
your own very easily, but you can learn how they work, and how to ride them out. You see, the
biggest problem people have with moods is having the self-discipline to not take action during a
bad mood. We touched on this briefly in the Confidence Treadmill. It may sound counter-
intuitive to my initial advice about taking action, but remember that I want you to throttle back on
the amount of over-analysis and useless thinking. This strategy will net you great results when
you can learn when to not take action.
When you’re feeling down, or discouraged, the actions you take will reflect your mood.
Your brain has an urgency factor it attaches to certain feelings, and negative states will jack that
urgency up, making you feel that you must do something to get out of this lousy emotional
state. The unfortunate thing is that you are looking at the world through a skewed and
inaccurate viewpoint when you are in a low or bad mood. Anything you do would be likely to
sabotage your success, not help you. It would be like trying to walk across a board perched
between two tall buildings while your contact lenses are blurry. What you stop and wait for is
your vision to clear up, so that you can walk across without worrying about falling to your death.
Back in the section “Do What You Know You Must,” I used the example of the guy who
spins out of control when he can’t help himself from calling the woman back. He’s
demonstrating a desperate, low self-confidence mood, and his self-discipline is flagging. He’s a
victim of his own thinking, and the only way out of the situation is to focus on the results he
wants to achieve.
The best rule for managing your moods is:
LoserBoy: You gotta do something! Just
call her house and see if she’s there... or
go swing by her ex-boyfriends’ place