© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.aware that “laid back” is not mutually exclusive with confidence. Laid back
means that you don’t react angrily, no matter what buttons she pushes. And if
she likes pushing those buttons too much, you press the one labeled
‘EJECT.’) And you add, “Now, Jessica, you wouldn’t respect me if I didn’t
stand my ground, would you?”Oh, it’s hard, my brothers. The things women will do to get their way so that they can
quickly establish where you’ll give in and where you’ll break. They’ll cry. They’ll act like little
brats. They’ll withhold sex.
Ignore these displays of childish behavior. A few hours later, after you’ve shown that
your confidence is not to be questioned, that you don’t react – or overreact – to her
manipulations, they’ll be happy and grateful. This will work at a layer just under their conscious
thinking, and they’ll sense that they’ve got something better here, something worth keeping.
And if they don’t? If they persist in shunning you until you give them their way, until you
bow down before them and supplicate ...?
Why - in the name of all that you stand for –
would you ever want to put up with that kind of mistreatment?Think about your future with her, what your life would be like after ten years (if you
lasted that long.) You’d be one of those pitiful married guys at work that you ask to come to
happy hour, and they reply, “Well, let me check with the Boss.” Their sly wink and sheepish
smile he throws your way implies ‘Oh, you know how it is.’
Yeah, I do, and I’ve got another plan in mind, thank you very much.
Remember: The ultimate loser line is when you say “Yeah, I know, but...”
But what?BOUNDARIES...........................................................................................................................................
The concept of healthy boundaries is often overlooked in relationships. This is because
when they are not clearly understood, it’s easy to misunderstand what is happening. Take the
following argument as an example:
What didn’t Paul see in Cindy’s behavior? If you said it was her placing the blame for her
feelings on him, you’re right on. You see, healthy boundaries between people is about
Cindy: “When you walk away from me like that, you make me feel like I’m stupid.”
Paul: “I make you feel stupid? I never said that. I was just saying that I feel like I can’t say
anything to you when you get in a mood like that.”
Cindy: “Why are you blaming me?”
Paul: “I’m not blaming you. I don’t feel like you’re being reasonable with me.”
Cindy: “Do you hear what you’re saying? I’m unreasonable? You made me angry and you
hurt my feelings.”