© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.It’s tempting to misinterpret their discomfort or even reluctant to talk at this stage. Her
automatic reaction is to step back and be cautious, because she feels nervous now. Her
reaction has almost nothing to do with you! She’s not rejecting you. You could be a Back Street
Boy or one of the guys from Nsync, and she’d still act in that playful, shy way. She just doesn’t
have any trust yet. You have to persist past this weird zone and get to where she has a smidgen
of trust for you, and then build on it. In fact, the best thing to do is to tease her a little about her
apparent nervousness: “Wow, it’s gotta suck thinking every average guy is coming on to you,
huh? Don’t worry, I’m not average.” (Smirk.)
Act indifferent to her and don’t show too much interest. That’s what scares most women
off and causes their initial reluctance, because you’ve gone and flipped her defensive alarm
switch.
Here’s how you can approach and get her phone number: “Hi, I was just on my way
to the bank, but you caught my eye. I really liked that bracelet/watch/bag/etc.” Talk about it for a
second. “Well, gotta run. Nice talking to you.” Turn and start to walk away, then turn back. (This
gets her to lower her guard, thinking you were just there to chat. No neediness.) “Hey, we might
want to continue this sometime. What’s your home phone number?”
Your introduction line can be as simple as “Do you have the time?” She tells you, and
then you ask her about her watch. If she doesn’t have a watch, you tease her about not having
a watch. You end the conversation, and then turn back as if it was an afterthought to get her
number. “Hey we might want to continue this sometime. What’s your home phone?”
Get yourself some perspective while you’re at it. Imagine having to be dropped in for
military action somewhere in the Middle East, under heavy fire. Does going up and talking to a
woman seem daunting in the face of that?
How about getting up in front of a hundred people and talking about your childhood?
How about streaking down the aisles of your cube-farm at work?
Does approaching one woman seem that hard now?
Don’t let your imagination run amok. She actually wants you to come up and talk to her.
You’re the one who’s talking yourself out of it, not her. You have to learn that inaction is much
worse than taking action and failing.
And, every so often, in spite of yourself, a woman will drop into your arms. She walks up
and says “Hi” and starts talking, or she makes it a point to touch you as she passes you at a
party. She’ll have the presence and balls that you might not have at that moment. She’s not
afraid to let you know she’s interested. What do you do?
In sales, this is known as a no-brainer. Hand her the contract and let her sign it. You give
her a card/napkin/sticky/whatever and a pen and you tell her to write her name and phone
number down. Don’t try to use any material or come up with something clever thing to say, just
chat for a second, get her digits, and go pat yourself on the back for an easy sale.