© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.there. Otherwise we can reschedule for a time you’re more certain about. Okay?”
You are not at her beck and call for timing, and most often a woman who wants you
to call and verify beforehand is going to back out.Dating and Friendship.........................................................................................................................
Dating and Friendship are mutually exclusive. Every man has heard a woman say, “I’d
just like for us to be friends,” and every man wonders, What the hell did I do wrong? Here’s what
happens in this dynamic:
o The man comes on too strong, or demonstrates very little of the Three S’s. The
woman senses this, and even though she doesn’t necessarily refuse dates with him,
she already knows subconsciously that she isn’t going to sleep with him or even let
this progress beyond a kiss on the cheek. She will eventually reach a point, however,
where she can’t feel good about leading him on any longer. She waits until he makes
a move of some kind, and then she tells him that she thinks he’s a nice guy, but she
would like to be friends.o An alternate situation occurs where a man doesn’t come on strong enough, again
demonstrating very little of the Three S’s. She sees that you’re not attractive when
you can’t act on your desire for her (self-confidence), and her subconscious will
decide that she will not be sleeping with you or letting this go any further than a peck
on the cheek. She reaches a point where she can’t feel good about leading you on
any longer. She waits until you make a move of some kind, and then she tells you
that she thinks you’re a nice guy, but she would just like to be friends.Have you ever played Skee-ball at the arcade? It’s the game where you roll a ball up a
ramp and it is caught in one of several concentric rings with scoring holes in it. If you aim poorly
or roll it too fast or too hard, the ball ends up rolling down into a no-score hole at the bottom. If
you roll it too lightly, the ball ends up in the same no-score bucket. Friendships are the no-score
default bucket of male-female dynamics. If you fail to engage her attraction to the right level,
lighting her passion, she will lose interest. And – forgive the pun – your balls will be out of play.
She only wants to be your friend when she thinks you’re either
too safe or too scary to make her feel trust and attraction.When you’re disqualified from her game, you fall into the friend bucket. A woman is
always looking for a reason to drop you into that bucket, because she wants to avoid the
potential for pain that a new relationship presents. You’re an element of disruption, of chaos in
her otherwise orderly existence. You must always provide her with the excitement and attraction
behaviors that keep her wanting to find out more, and willing to risk that pain.
Women and men can and should be friends, but you do not want to have an imbalance
in your ratio. Men should have only a few female friends, and women should only have a few
male friends. Just a couple of reasons for this are: