© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.You say: “Well, I was intrigued by our conversation, and I thought we should get
together. I’m going to the art festival this weekend, and I thought you might like to go along with
me. I was thinking of going on either Saturday at 1:00 or 3:00. Which time would work for you?”
Shut up and let her talk for as long as she needs to. Listen to what she says. You’ve
proposed the meeting, given her specifics on when and where, and given her two options of
times or days. The first person to talk, as before, loses. She will either accept your meeting or
counter-offer. Any other answer than a reschedule or acceptance means she is saying “No” as
nicely as she can.
You may find that you have to do a little re-selling of yourself, depending on how you got
her number and how much time has gone by. If you left a lasting impression, she might still be
warm, but most prospects tend to cool off the longer the time you put between the introduction
and the first call. Don’t be dismayed if you hear a little distance or coolness in her voice. She
just needs to hear a little reminder of why she gave you her number in the first place.
Never call a woman without having a firm idea of the what/where/when of a meeting with
her. Be definite. Have a good plan for the date, and use some charged words to describe it to
her. Make it sound interesting enough for her to take the risk of meeting you.
If she sounds like she’s turning you down, you need to close the opportunity down.
You say: “Well, I’m sorry, I thought we had something in common. Tell you what, do
you have a pen?” Let her get it. “Here’s my number. If you think you’re interested in a possibly
wonderful time with a guy who can make you laugh, give me a call. Have a great week! Bye.”
Now the ball is in her court. If you think she’s just unsure, you can call her back in at
least a week to try again. If you’re collecting as many phone numbers as you ought to, you won’t
care. Remember, you don’t have the time to waste on women who aren’t interested in meeting
you.
Show Her Without Telling Her ............................................................................................................
In fiction writing, there’s a rule that says “show, don’t tell.” Never tell the reader that a
character is unhappy; show it through their actions.
The same premise is true in relationships with women. Women do not hear your words,
they see your actions. Most guys tend toward overwhelming her with compliments and praise,
sending love notes and pledging their affections. In the dating dynamic, you must demonstrate
your intentions, not broadcast them. Saying you love a woman is nowhere near as effective (or
necessary) as showing it to her through your actions. Rather than whisper your feelings in her
ear, show her. A back-rub is worth a dozen “I Love You”s. Consider the gestures that you can
give, and especially those that do not involve spending a small fortune. A creative, generative
man can come up with some pretty interesting gestures of affection. Things like: