South AsiaLike ripples of water hit by a pebble, the social
life of Muslim women in South Asia emanated out-
wards from the center at a speed dictated by the
Islamic ideology of purdah and its attendant con-
cepts of ≠izzat(honor) and sharm(dishonor) on one
hand, and embracing Western education and its
concomitants on the other. Little is known about
the social life of women in the early twentieth cen-
tury. Literary and survey sources focus on the fam-
ily and kin as sources for social relations. Women,
especially sisters, functioned both as siblings and
friends. Zeenat Futehally dedicated her novel
Zohra (1951) to her three sisters. Elite women had
the privilege of social access to Parsee, Hindu, and
English women. This is portrayed in Attia Hos-
sain’s short story, “The First Party” (1991). Unlike
the world of family and kin, this constituted a for-
mal social world and less of an intimate emotional
one. Unlike elite Muslims who lived in multiethnic
locations, their less privileged sisters were clustered
in mohollas (ethnic enclaves). Besides family and
kin their social network spilled into the neighbor-
hood. Ismat Chughtai’s short story, “The Wedding
Suit” (2001), set in North India, describes the role
of neighborhood women in assisting each other in
preparing the bride’s trousseau as girls in various
households reached marriageable age. In Gujarat
when men were away at work, women sat on the
otlo(porch) of their residential building and gos-
siped with neighbors, a practice that continues to
this day. The purpose of the network was instru-
mental in scope – religious and life cycle rituals –
rather than for leisure. With few exceptions the site
for friendship was limited to the domestic space
and contacts centered on same sex, sect, and class
but across generations as well. There is no scholar-
ship on lesbian relationships within the zenana
(women’s quarters). Ismat Chughtai’s short story,
“The Quilt” (2001), written in the 1940s, depicts a
lesbian relationship between a woman and her
maidservant, as seen through the eyes of a child.
Cross-gender contact, not to mention friend-
ships, were strictly taboo. However, unlike the
Hindus, Muslims practiced purdah primarily
toward non-related males. As a result, across class
and sect, relations between kinsmen and women
were relaxed and as cousin marriages were favored
there was teasing leading to romantic overtures.
This is depicted in several literary works such as
Qurratulain Hyder’s short story, “Memories of an
Indian Childhood” (1991). Contact with unrelated
males was not completely absent. In her auto-
biographical work, The Brocaded Saree (1946),194 friendship
Ishvani mentions how as a young doctor her grand-
father trained the women of the community to
assist him in taking the pulse of women and deliv-
ering their children into the world.
The publication of Muslim women’s journals and
the formation of Muslim women’s associations ex-
tended the social boundaries of women to a greater
geographical sphere. The publication of Tahzib
un-Niswan, Khatun, and ≠Ismatin the twentieth
century initiated the spread of ideas of women’s
education and social change. Muhammadi Begum,
the co-editor of Tahzib un-Niswanwrote in Adab
i-Mulaqat, an etiquette book dealing with social
gatherings, on how to offer hospitality at such
“modern” functions as tea parties and what to do
when visiting. Minault (1998) writes, “This was
especially useful information for purdah-observing
women who were just beginning to socialize be-
yond the immediate family circle and were unsure
how to behave.” The All India Muslim Ladies’
Conference (Anjuman-i-Khawatin-i-Islam) was
formed in Aligarh in 1914. It established regional
branches and advocated female education and a
purdah observance based on Islamic injunction
rather than the stricter variety dictated by custom.
Minault highlights some of the friendships among
its office bearers and hosts from different parts of
the country and the increased sense of community
it fostered among Muslim women. In a limited way,
it also expanded exposure to non-kin men.
By the 1930s the acceptance of higher education
for girls, relaxation of purdah rules, and Gandhi’s
political activism opened possibilities for the inte-
gration of women into a network that transcended
regional, religious, and sectarian lines. Schools and
colleges functioned as new sites from where friends
could be drawn. The postcolonial disintegration of
joint family and business, alteration in residential
patterns, and improved public transport brought
additional possibilities in women’s friendship pat-
terns. Anees Jung (1993) on Muslim women de-
scribes Rashida, 20 and unmarried, who sits amidst
a group of women who gather every week at a wel-
fare center. The women talk about their homes,
problems of raising children, husbands who domi-
nate, and elders who squabble.
Despite dramatic changes, women’s friendships
remained firmly rooted in their ethno-sectarian
communities. International migration resulted in
dispersal, but identity politics and Hindu-Muslim
riots have pushed many back to their ethnic enclave
and undone the social achievements of the past cen-
tury. This is best illustrated by the women of the
Daudi Bohra Ismà≠ìlìsect of Shì≠ìMuslims who con-
tinue with their practice of friendship, prevalent