Leading with NLP

Guides and Rules of the Road 121

the rules of the road

Corruptissima republicae, plurimae leges.

(The more corrupt the republic, the more laws multiply.)

Tacitus, Roman historian, AD55–117

Relationships come down in the end to trust. Trust is based
on common values, and also on understanding and sharing
boundaries about what is allowed and what is not allowed.
What defines boundaries? Boundaries are the edge of the
permissible, they separate, they give structure and define the
space you have to play in. Shared rules give shared bound-
aries. There are both formal and informal rules in any
organization and no group, whether it is a team, family,
community or gathering of friends, can exist without them,
because rules are codified common understanding. When
you break shared rules, you forfeit trust.

Roman law and common law

Boundaries can be set in two very different ways, one known
as Roman law or Napoleonic Law, the other as common law.
Roman law prohibits what it does not allow. So unless some-
thing is explicitly allowed, then it is prohibited. Common law
permits what it does not prohibit. So you are free to act un-
less there is an explicit rule saying you cannot.
Imagine a space available for your ideas and actions. This
is your idea space. Where are the boundaries? Roman law
puts you within narrow boundaries. Common law frees you
to make your own boundaries.