160 Leading with NLP
sources you need, or can acquire them, or that the
other person has all the resources they need. It could
be that everyone is doing the best they can in the situa-
tion they are in. Imagine the situation as a civil dispute.
What rule are you going to apply to it?
See the situation through the filter of that idea. How
is it different? How would that situation change if you
acted as if this principle were true? Would the other
person be able to maintain what they are doing in the
same way? Would you?
Imagine yourself in that problem situation with that
principle. What new possibilities are there?
Pick at least two other ideas and go through the same
process. You can use some of the leaders’ presupposi-
tions or any other powerful idea that attracts you. What
new ways of action open out?
Now imagine the next time you confront that per-
son. What will you be doing differently? Think of
yourself in that situation, speaking in a new way. What
reaction do you think you will get?
How has the problem changed now when you think
about it?
How do you feel about it now?
A new way of thinking is the most powerful resource you have.
It automatically opens up space for both yourself and others,
because your assumptions about others shape how you ap-
proach the situation and so they will also shape the response
you get. Broadening your thinking gives everyone more space.
You can use these ideas to help other people in ordinary
conversation. Ask them what they assume about the situation
or what they think is true about the other person. Ask them
how the situation would be different if they thought about it
in another way and either suggest one of the leaders’ pre-
suppositions or ask them to think of a time when they dealt
very successfully with a difficult situation. What did they
assume about the other people in that situation that allowed
them to resolve it? Then ask them to think about the present
situation in the same way.