GO FOR THE DATE, OR GO FOR THE NUMBER?
Terrence was a pretty good looking guy, which is what made his question stand out to me.
“How can I get a girl to call me back?” he asked.
We were in the middle of Boarders Books And Music, down in Westwood, a hop and
skip away from the UCLA campus. Neil Strauss had just finished a book signing there
for his best seller The Game, and he had asked me to speak.
After any speaking engagement, you always tend to get groups full of guys surrounding
you and asking for advice. Some of it is pretty standard stuff, other questions are a bit
more specific to the individual.
And though the question “How can I get a girl to call me back?” is a fairly common one,
the fact that the man who was asking it should – at first glance – have NO PROBLEM
getting women to return his calls intrigued me.
“What exactly is the problem you’re experiencing?” I asked.
“Well,” said Terrence, “I’ll meet a girl, we’ll hit it off, and I’ll get her number. But when
I call her she’ll either never return my calls, or call me back and leave a message, but
never get back with me after that.”
I nodded. “Let me ask you a question,” I said. “How much do you think girls talk on the
phone?”
Terrence cocked his head to the side and gave me a questioning look. “A lot, I’d think.”
“You’d be right,” I said. “Most girls I know spend hours on the phone every day.
They’re either talking to their parents, their girlfriends, or guys who call them up. And if
they’re not talking on the phone, they’re texting on it. So knowing that they talk on the
phone a great deal already, how often do you think they give guys they meet in bars their
phone numbers?”
“Um, probably a good deal,” replied Terrence.
“I’d say maybe one out of every three guys they meet in a bar they give their real number
to,” I said. “So assuming they only go out twice a week, that’s two new people calling
them in addition to all the other people they already talk to. So on any given day, I’d say
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