That was what Gerrymander didn’t understand. He was trying to make the women he
was talking to feel a certain way, and when they didn’t, he blamed the words he was
using and stormed off.
But you can’t force others to feel something you don’t. You can’t force them to think
about things the way you want them to. This is because you do not control their mind
and body - THEY DO.
And by focusing on that which you can’t control, you open yourself up to anger and
frustration.
So what’s the solution?
Focus on what you CAN control – yourself!
If you look at the guys who can easily attract women like flies to honey, you’ll notice that
many of them don’t even think about attracting girls. They focus on themselves. How
good of a time they are having, what they are thinking, what they are feeling – and the
rest comes naturally. They don’t care about what the girl thinks, only if they themselves
are having fun.
I once knew a guy in college who’d run around and fart on girls. It was funny, people
would laugh. And more often than not, he’d end up sleeping with the girl he farted on.
That seems far fetched if you look at it from an outsider’s point of view. But look at it
from his point of view: he was having fun. He was having a good time. Fun and good
times are contagious. People are drawn to having fun. Hence, the woman was drawn to
him as long as she continued to have fun.
My friend’s words: “You should focus on feeling good about yourself, so you can stop
making everyone around you miserable” were profound. He had basically just told me
that how I make myself feel influences others around me to feel a certain way.
And it made sense!
When Gerrymander and I went out to pick up women, we never focused on ourselves.
We would walk around all night feeling tired, frustrated, and upset. Meeting women felt
more like work than romance.
Looking back on it, it’s no wonder we were struggling. WE weren’t having fun, so how
could we expect those around us to?
The revelation was a powerful one – powerful enough to sober me up a little. I quickly
got to my feet and left the bar, making my way over to the Standard Hotel, where my
friend and Ramirez went. I found them out by the pool, smoking cigarettes.
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