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Dealing with Authority Figures 225
Dear Headache,
Sorry to hear about your boss trouble! The important thing is not to give up. Avoiding a con-
frontation with a boss is only a short-term solution for a long-term problem. Besides, it’s not
acceptable for him to be rude to you or anybody else.
I know you’re scared, but I believe that your boss needs to hear what you have to say.
Before you talk to him about his behavior, ask him if you’re fulfilling all of your job responsi-
bilities. You might say, “I’m really happy here, and I want to make sure I’m doing the best job
I can. I’d appreciate it if you’d tell me exactly the way you want this job to be done.” If you’re
carrying out all of your responsibilities in an efficient way but the insults don’t stop, it’s time
for another conversation. This time you might say, “I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, but
I just wanted to tell you that I don’t appreciate being yelled at or insulted. If I’m not fulfilling
my duties, please tell me where I need improvement—but tell me politely.” I know this won’t
be easy to say, and you may need some support. Talk to a parent or another trusted adult
about the situation and get some advice.
Although your boss is an authority figure, he doesn’t have the right to verbally abuse the
people who work for him. There’s a chance he may fire you for standing up for yourself, and
you’ll need to ask yourself if this is a risk you’re willing to take. If not, I suggest that you spend
some time looking for another job, so you can leave on your own terms. You deserve to feel
good about the work you do. I wish you luck!
In friendship,
Terra
I don’t like the way that
my advisor treats me
Hey Terra,
I’m having a problem with my advisor. The thing is, he always calls me by the wrong name,
and half the time when I go to see him he’s either not there or on the phone. I’m only a
freshman, but I’m afraid if this guy doesn’t even know me, he’ll never be able to write a
good college recommendation for me.
Worried