LEADERS ARE PEOPLE-ORIENTEDThey may have many acquaintances – even a few friendships – but few,
if any, intimate relationships. That’s because knowing takes time. Intimacy
requires a growing transparency on the part of both the leader and the
follower. The only thing that will move a person to drop their defenses...
masquerades...role playing and become increasingly transparent with
another human being is unconditional love. There is only one source for
that kind of love in the universe and that is Jesus Christ. It is called agape,
and is the self-giving-God-kind-of-love. Only Christ’s unconditional love
for us will motivate us to unconditionally love another person – especially
after we have seen their immaturities...faults...failures...fears!
Principle:
“Intimacy is the deepest longing of the human
heart. Yet few leaders allow themselves to be known
intimately; nor do they ever get to know their
followers intimately. But the more intimately he
knows them, the better he can lead them.”We cannot get to know another person quickly. Relationship building
requires the “Four T’s”: time, talking, transparency and testing. Only as we
take the time to really know people can we really love them. The principle is
this: “loving is based upon knowing; and knowing takes time.”
Principle:
“Loving is based upon knowing. Th e more intimately
we are known, the more intimately we are loved, and
the better we can lead.”Many shepherd leaders are unwilling to give that much time, talking,
transparency, and testing to their followers. Instead, they build superficial
relationships...functional relationships...project-based relationships...goal-
oriented relationships...business-related relationships...church-based relation-
ships – but not real covenant relationships based upon Christ’s unconditional
love.