Nevertheless, the latter verse gives pause and cause for our sisters in Islam to
reflect and contemplate why it is that only two such women are mentioned by
Allah. The stumbling block for women is their preoccupation with self-
affection, emption and sympathies (feelings) that are basically engendered
out of fear, which in turn is the result of insufficient faith with its subsequent
lack of attention paid to the personal struggle required to attain proper adab
and deen. You will recognize these ladies as gossips who complain without
end and especially enjoy grumbling about their men folk whom they love for
the sake of pleasure and worldly greed as they feather their nests:
“If one loves someone because it gives pleasure, one should not be regarded as
loving that person at all. The love is, in reality, though this is not perceived,
directed towards the pleasure. The source of the pleasure is the secondary object of
attention, and it is perceived only because the perception of the pleasure is not well
enough developed for the real feeling to be identified and described.” - Al’GhazaliMarriage is a Mosque or house of prayer, and prayer itself is extends far
beyond the ritual mouthing because true prayer is worship and true worship
is obedience. Understanding the purpose or 'Cause of Allah' in marriage is far
more than the mixing of nikah fluids and is of paramount importance in Islam
for those who ‘ strive with their wealth and their lives’. Furthermore, I wish to
impress upon the reader that this striving – individually and collectively – is
absolutely vital for the maintenance of authentic romance and bliss in solemn
Marriage. This is evident from the Prophet‘s own marital history. When his
wives rose in jealousy against both Aisha and Marayah, he withdrew from
them all much to theirs and the community's horror! Allah consequently
threatened to replace (Q, 66:5) these heedless women with better lovers
because His Cause was being served by Aisha's eminence both in the
Prophet's esteem and that of the Ummah due to her superb intelligence and
exquisite Adab – both in and out of bed – which does not refer to the
diplomatic politeness of social protocol as much as it does to truth and
justice, as diplomacy is little more than the art of lying to those you hate,
disdain, or wish to exploit or absent yourself from as soon as possible. As for
Islamic adab , observe:
“ Adab is right action that springs from self-discipline founded upon knowledge
whose source is wisdom... the condition of being in the proper place is what I call
justice, and adab is that cognitive action by which we actualize the condition of