with the sand of her many detailed concerns and observations. You must
remove the rocks and stones of her worries with the filter of an attentive ear
and understanding heart filled with patience. These requirements demand
diligent craftwork so that the grit of her anxiety is filtered in order to smooth
the blend for a fine joining and finish. Women are naturally chary and seek
the solace of security in your manhood, which is, in this respect, more like
fatherhood for her. She is more than willing to be sifted by the sincere eye of
your soul and manly intelligence. For her this is a vital component of foreplay
in the art of lovemaking: a most solemn matter in the eyes of a woman!
Without the resultant admixture of your understanding, guidance,
consolation and at times directives, her desire to be manhandled by you is
diminished. Over time, if this is the case, you neglect of intimate
conversation will cause your Mosque of Romance to either collapse or
become dilapidated for want of the maintenance of this crucially concrete and
metaphysical process! She will eventually fail to take you and your needs
either seriously or in a positive and constructive context, because you have
not balanced her soul on the scale of this essential trial of her equality with
you. Her graceful devotion and delightful submission to you depends almost
exclusively upon this component of intimacy; because she measures your love
for her, not by your wallet, but by your heart’s ability and desire to hear,
appreciate, and at times, critique the song of her soul. Sometimes this song is
dissonant and incompatible with yours. This calls for patience and tolerance
of a thing you do not like. Notwithstanding this truth, when the soul-songs
of each partner cannot harmonize on a continuum, it is a sign of a poor
match and irreconcilable differences for which pristine Islam makes divorce
easy. There is no middle ground unless you both choose to ignore the fitrah
Allah has placed in your hearts. In this case, a certain mundane pall of silent
conspiracy enters the bond, and reigns until death. Many marriages suffer
this God-forsaken malady, wherein potency is surrendered to ritual and
hypocrisy is king.
SIX^ Your wife needs to know you are aware of her presence
even when you are preoccupied^This is the quality that won her heart to begin with, and gave assurance to her
friends and family that you would be a good husband. A wife is like a moon
that revolves around the planet of her husband’s destiny. She measures your