awareness of her as a test of her importance in your life and the effects of her
gravitational pull on you. Be careful not to ignore or dismiss her carelessly!
This test is an assessment of your manners (etiquette) and qualifies you as her
specific gentleman champion, because love (kindness) always has good
manners, always defends and defers, and never insults – a lady. Do you help
her with the heavy work; do you refrain from bad language; do you introduce
her properly; do you inform her of your activities in a timely fashion; do you
keep yourself clean and well groomed? In all these things she is looking for
the consistent proof of the respect implied by the phrase ‘I love you’. Your
acknowledgement in all these and more sets her firmly in orbit around your
life for the time appointed by Allah SWT. Furthermore, your own honor and
delight depend upon your proportional response to and manners in the
presence of her gravitations!
She will often approach you while you are occupied as a test of her priority in
the affairs of your life. Do not ignore her! Even if all you can afford is a loving
glance or gentle touch, offer it in recognition of her status, then excuse
yourself and return to your work. If her intrusion is important, she will
somehow let you know. Stop your work and attend to her with patient
sincerity. A few such episodes are sufficient to pass the test and secure her
sense of self-respect in the circumambulation of your mateship with her as
your equal and most intimate companion. You will not regret it!
In addition, the example of this protocol of impressive courtesy endorses the
holiness of marriage in the eyes of your peers and superiors. It sends a clear
message to all that your union with this woman is not only yours but also
Allah’s top priority in your living out the deen. When she sees the Divine
Underwriter of our fate confirming this message as broadcast abroad by your
deeds of recognition and honor on her behalf, her willingness to enslave
herself to your destiny simply blossoms: increasing her courage, devotion,
and loyalty by the grace of your loving diplomacy, which in turn confirms
your own guidance by the Right Hand of Allah. All of this further endorses
your position in the Ummah as a man of genuine authority. Remember, the
endorsement of your authority in the community begins with her
confirmation of and willing submission to – your manhood in its entirety.
People measure a man’s quality of soul, intellect and authoritative abilities by
the measure given to him by his spouse(s). SEVEN