Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

animals killed in the shelters for minor diseases, or
being too old, and they call it a rescue. Then they
charge the former owner hundreds of thousands of
dollars for providing "care" for the animals they
abducted.
My depression has changed. I cannot function. I
can barely move. But my mind and body feel clear.
My consciousness is empty and light. The heaviness of
three days ago is gone, but that heaviness, in a way,
was so comforting, like a gentle blanket comforting a
broken heart.
Now that heart is exposed to the light of finality of
Red's non-being, of all the Caboodles cats dying and
the desperate loneliness, and anger Craig must feel
about his loss.
Yes, I also feel a gentle anger, both at "What Is" for
taking that most gentle soul, Red, from me and taking
him away into the dissolution of the Void. He was such
a gentle soul, and Lakshmi's constant attendant.
What I feel is like a a dry gentle wind blowing
through my heart, causing it to shrivel a little before
its dryness, but also filling my larger sense of presence
with a restiness, a need to stop and lie still, thinking
not of what to do today, dropping all chores to be
done, and just settle into the grief.