impending angry outbursts. Not everybody does them, but when people
do, they are unmistakable.
MUTTERING. It’s surprising how many angry people play their self-incite-
ments out loud, talking to themselves as if to other people, checking whether
events warrant an angry response and answering with a resounding Hell
yes!Muttering is merely rumination with the external speakers turned on.
Often people are unaware that others can hear it. If you ask them what
they said, they will answer nothing, then say it again.
TICKING OFF POINTS ON THE FINGERS. Finger ticking is another exter-
nal indicator of rumination. To the people who do it, finger ticking is such
an integral part of the ritual that if you stop them, they’re unable to main-
tain the emotion.
“Brandon,” I say, “this may sound silly, but I do this with all my
anger control clients. If you start ticking off points on your fingers,
I’m going to ask you to sit on your hands. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” he says. His look suggests that I’ve confirmed
his belief that psychologists are crazy.
Later in the session he begins enumerating his wife’s
domestic misdemeanors. I ask him to sit on his hands, and he
finds himself wagging his shoulders, unable to speak. I now have
his full attention.RAISING THE VOICE. How many times have angry people told you they
aren’t really angry, they merely have a naturally loud voice? It happens to
me all the time. In a soft voice, I ask them to whisper, and enjoy their sur-
prised looks when they forget what they were going to say.
Getting angry is so ritualistic that if you disrupt one part of the pat-
tern, you can sometimes stop the whole thing. This is a risky technique;
you probably shouldn’t try it at home. I’m a trained professional, so peo-
ple let me get away with more than they would you.
SARCASM, SNORTING, AND EYE-ROLLING. Adolescent rebellion, at
whatever chronological age it occurs, has its own customs and traditions
Explosions into Anger ❧ 221