coherent narrative and experiences that don’t fit are left out: The lesbian who has sex
with men may explain it as “trying to fit in” rather than evidence she is “really”
bisexual, and the heterosexual man who enjoys same-sex activity may explain it as
“fooling around,” irrelevant to his heterosexual identity.
Oddly, most cultures around the world have gotten along fine without any sex-
ual identities at all. There were desires and behaviors, but the very idea that one’s
desire or behavior was part of the foundation of one’s identity dates to the middle of
the nineteenth century, when the terms heterosexualandhomosexualwere first used
as nouns (describing identity) rather than as adjectives (describing behaviors).
That distinction between behaviors and identities is crucial in some cultural pro-
hibitions. In some cases, it is the identity that is the problem, not the behaviors: You
can do pretty much what you want; just don’t make it the basis of your identity. In
other cases it is the behaviors that are troubling, not the identity. The Roman Catholic
Church’s official position on homosexuality—love the sinner, hate the sin—is an exam-
ple of the latter.
Can sexual orientation change? Though some gay men and lesbians have sought
various treatments to help them “convert” to heterosexuality, such techniques almost
always fail (see Duberman, 1991). One can surely stop the behaviors, but the orien-
tation most often remains intact. Recent religious “conversion therapies” replace psy-
chiatric models with theological ones but produce similar results (Wolkomir, 2005).
Bisexuality.We’re so used to the gay-straight dichotomy that we often believe that
you have to be one or the other: Gay/straight sounds as natural and normal as
young/old, rich/poor, Black/ White. But what about bisexuality—a sexual identity
organized around attraction to both women and men?
First, bisexuality in not indiscriminate, even though a bisexual magazine is enti-
tledEverything That Moves. The old joke that you double your chances of a date on
Saturday night is wrong. You’re attracted to men in some circumstances, and women
in others. You fall in love with men, but feel a sexual attraction only to women, or
vice versa. Or you’ve had sex only with women, but you wouldn’t say no if Brad Pitt
called. The variety of experiences differs considerably.
Second, few understand you. Tell a date that you are bisexual, and you will
get weird looks, a lecherous request to “watch” sometime, or outright rejection.
STUDYING SEXUALITY: BODIES, BEHAVIORS, AND IDENTITIES 323“Gay” or “Homosexual”—
What’s in a Name?Many people use the term homosexualto refer to gay
people. But gay people do not. Of 5,000 gay organ-
izations, clubs, and other venues in the United
States, not one has the word homosexualin the title.
In a poll conducted by the gay magazine The Advocate
in 1999, readers were asked, “What should we call ourselves?”
Fewer than 3 percent of the respondents said “homosexual.”
What’s wrong with homosexual?
In the 1950s and 1960s, homosexualwas a medical term,
used to describe a type of mental illness. Then came thecounterculture revolution of the late 1960s, and with it the Gay
Liberation Front, a group that did not agree with such diagnoses.
They were perfectly normal, they believed; the problem was an
oppressive society. They rejected the term homosexualas an
emblem of their oppression and called themselves “gay”
instead—just as, at the same time, African Americans rejected
the term Negroand insisted on Black. Ever since, if you think
of your sexual orientation as normal and natural, you call your-
self gay. If you think of your sexual orientation as sick and evil,
you are likely to call yourself a homosexual.Sociologyand ourWorld