84 | March• 2019
INSIDE THE MIND OF A STALKER
welcoming. I examined him closely,
lookingforthesigns–atwitch,
a villainous glance, a bullying
stare.Nothing.Heshookmyhand.
I waited for my instincts to evoke
terror.Nothing.IfIhadnotknown
ofhisrelentlessthree-yearpursuitof
awomaninher40swhohadthree
children,Iwouldhaveimmedi-
atelyregardedhimaspleasant,and
engagedinconversationwithhim
just as I would anyone else. And as
we talked, I became more aware of
his disarmingly charming manner.
JameshadmetCarlythrougha
workcolleague.Hewasfromastable
family,hadtwosistersandone
brother,andhadgrownupinaleafy,
aff luent suburb of a big city. To my
knowledgehehadnoknownprior
stalking behaviour. He now works in
the corporate sector and is in a senior
management position with a multi-
national company, after having been
foundguiltyandservingtimeinjail.“SO, JAMES,” I SAID.“Why have you
agreed to the interview?”
He replied calmly. “Well, I guess
Iwantyoutounderstandwhatit’s
like, what they call stalking, what it’s
reallylike–whatitfeelsliketome.
IwanttotalkaboutitnowbecauseI
amnothidingitanymore.
“For years I spent a lot of my
life either actively stalking Carly,
beingpunishedforstalkingCarlyor
recovering from stalking Carly. When
I was doing it, I thought about her allhis was the mo-
ment I feared
the most. I was
about to come
face to face with
a convicted
perpetrator who
was now free to
walk the streets again. The fact that
this was a person who targeted some-
one else, and is a complete stranger to
me, doesn’t make me feel much better.
My own experience of being stalked,
and everything that I’ve learned about
stalking from writing a book about it,
made me certain this was someone to
be wary of – someone capable of ob-
sessive, manipulative, unpredictable
and dangerous behaviours. And yet,
at the same time, I fully expected to
be underwhelmed when I met him.
Iknewfromfirst-handexperi-
ence that stalkers aren’t the bogey-
menweseeinournightmaresorin
Holly wood films. They aren’t neces-
sarily shadowy characters hiding in
alley ways. They can be clean-cut,
well-presented, educated profession-
alswhocanappeartobeperfectly
‘normal’totherestoftheworld.
Indeed,thisisahugepartoftheir
powerandthewaytheyconvince
others to support them against their
target.Theysometimeshavewhatis
considered to be high public stand-
ing;areknownas‘goodcitizens’.
WhenIenteredtheroom,James
was sitting quietly, dressed in a suit
and tie. He was clean-cut and very