March• 2019 | 85READER’S DIGESTthe time – what was she doing, where
was she, who was she talking to, how
Icouldgetclosertoher.Icouldn’t
get the thoughts out of my head. I
wouldwakeupthinkingabouther
andshewasmylastthoughteach
andeverynight.Iwouldwritedown
planstoinfiltrateherlife.
“Iusedtohaveover300picturesof
heronmycomputerandmyphone.
Sometimes I would sit outside her
house and photograph her from
acrosstheroadbehindthebigtrees.
“I scanned Facebook and the
internet and tried to befriend her
friends.Iwouldfollowherschedule
every day of the week. If she changed
the schedule, I got stressed, verystressed. My job involved being out
ontheroadvisitingclientsandI
wouldmakesurethevisitscoincided
withwatchingCarlyatsomepoint
each day. Sometimes she caught me
watching her, sometimes she didn’t.
“Itstartedatabarbecue.Shewas
very attractive and friendly and
herpersonalitywassobright.Ihad
never met anyone like her before.
Shegavemealotofattentionand,
afterIofferedtohelpfinancially
withacharityshewasinvolvedin,
shesuggestedwecouldcatchupthe
next week for coffee. She was kind,
smart and lived a completely differ-
entlifetomine.Shemadeitclear
at thestartthatshehadapartner,
butIjustdidn’twanttohear
that.Ididn’tcare.Ihadnever
experienced anything like
the feeling I instantly had
forher.Icouldn’tgetenough
of her and when she stopped
our catch-ups I didn’t cope.
I was depressed and I con-
stantlythoughtabouther.My
thoughts scared me some-
times, but I kept up my job
andmyfriendships.Allthe
otherpartsofmylifelooked
very normal.
“When the stalking
increasedandIstarteddoing
sneaky things to bully her into
seeing me, I convinced people
around me that Carly was
thecrazyone.Ihadagood
reputation, so why wouldn’tWHO ARE
STALKERS?People who stalk
almost always do so
in response to a highly
emotional situation w
they believe, involves the target.
Theseemotionsmightbenegative
–anger,frustration,feelingsof
betrayalorhurt–orpositive,
such as hope, lust and happiness.
Whatevertheemotion,theyare
very strong. Depending on whether
thetargetrespondsintheway
intended or desired, the stalker
mightthenfeeltheneedto
continue to try to influence them.ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES