8 DAYS | 338 DAYS: First of all, congrats on becoming a free
agent. It looks good on you. After 15 years with Hype
and Mediacorp, you’re now managing yourself and not
contracted to the station. How does it feel?
JEANETTE AW: Thank you! (Laughs) I guess it’s pretty
liberating! I’ve been in this line for 17 years and it all
happened in a way which wasn’t planned. From the
beginning, I danced and majored in theatre studies, so
I thought I’d do stage, but an unexpected turn of events
led me down this path. I didn’t expect to do this for so
long. I always felt there were other things I wanted to try,
and now felt like a good time to do it, ’cos both contracts
were ending at the same time. It’s been on my mind for a
really long time to try different things. I’ve always wanted
to move behind the scenes, to be in more creative
control. When you’ve been here for so long, you observe
how things are done and start to think, “If I were the one
in charge, how would I do this?
Jeanette Aw, director. Sounds good. You have your own
production company, which you set up some time ago.
Yes, many years ago, I had plans to do a film. In 2012,
I set up Picturesque Films. I was going to produce
something, but stuff happened along the way, and I got
played out. But it didn’t deter me from still wanting to try.
You directed a short film, The Last Entry. What’s that
about?
It’s a personal story about me and my godmother. She
had Alzheimer’s and passed away — it’s been 10 years. I
felt that for my first film, I wanted to start with something
personal. The emotions are there, and the things that
happened are real — I don’t need to think up a whole
new story. Since it was a personal story, I didn’t want to
get someone else to play my role. It was shot in August
and the film is now in post-production. I’m planning to
send it for competition in film fests... yeah, some pretty
big ones. (Smiles) I’m planning for Toyko Short Shorts,
and Busan and Berlin. I just wanted to try — it will be an
experience. Of course everything can be better, but I’m
quite happy with what I’ve produced.
Who played your godma?
[Veteran actress] Li Yinzhu. She was quite a dream.
She’s acted as my mum several times [in Ch 8 dramas],
and she’s always doted on me like her real daughter.
When I told her the story, she cried. The final scene
was very emotional for me — it was like re-opening the
wound. I was filming and crying. Trying to act and direct...
it’s like right brain and left brain. (Laughs) But I had a
very strong crew, who knew what I wanted to achieve.
After all these years of establishing yourself, do you
feel you’re now well-known enough to move on, like
you’ve paid your dues and earned this?
I guess [my acting career] was a good stepping stone.
But even if you get a good head start, it doesn’t mean
things are going to be a confirmed success. At the end
of the day, it’s what you produce, and your work that
speaks for itself.
Do you feel you can finally be yourself now? Do what
you want? Say what you want?
Let’s just say I’ve always been able to do what I want
and say what I want. My boss Ken Lim let me do a lot of
personal projects, such as my books, my art exhibition
with the National Museum and my pet projects. Even
with social media, he let me have total control. The only
thing I felt was lacking was that, as an actor, as much
as you do your homework, there are certain things
you cannot do. And when things don’t work out, you’re
the one who’s been too vocal and giving problems. I
just want to do the job well and be true to myself, and
there’ve been moments when I thought, “I wish I could
do this...” And now I can. (Laughs)
Some people are content to be actors their entire
career.
It was never my plan to be on TV. With my personality, it’s
a miracle I’ve lasted this long.
Why do you say that? You’re one of the top actresses in
Singapore.
I’m not exactly the chattiest person on earth. Reporters
say, “You know Jeanette’s a really boring person to
interview, and it’s difficult to get anything out of her”.
(Laughs) I know that — people tell me all the time!
(Laughs) I’m very bad at small talk and PR. I feel that
as an actor, my job is to portray the role well — I don’t
need to do anything extra. But these days, it’s about
developing a relationship with people and I don’t
have time and energy for that. But as you feel more
comfortable with yourself and more confident, you start
talking about your feelings and sharing more.
You’ve said that you had hit a plateau, which is why
you’ve decided on a change. Do you feel your career
can still soar?
We all have the room and ability to grow. It’s just whether
you dare to take the first step out of your comfort zone.
You may take the first step and fall flat on your face, but
if you don’t take a bet on yourself, who will? I feel as
long as you know where you want to go, you will get there
someday. There are going to be a lot of obstacles and
people who will doubt you, who will say, “You’re just an
actress, what can you do?” But there is a lot more I can
offer. I guess I just want to try. I’m not afraid to fail.
But you’re still gonna act, right?
If the right role comes along, yes. I’m hoping to go
overseas. There are talks with foreign productions. Being
behind the scenes is one thing I’ve always wanted to
pursue, but I’m not going to say this is the end of my
acting career. I’m just going to be more selective now.
Many actresses want to head to China to further their
careers. At 38, do you think you might be a bit too
mature? There are so many sweet young things.
I think that maturity adds to the craft of acting. There are
a lot of things I can do now that I couldn’t do 10 years
ago. I have experience now. I’m also very grateful for The
Little Nyonya — it has done wonders for me. There are
people in China who recognise me and still talk about
that drama. I don’t need to be the next new thing. I just
want to be doing productions of higher value. And the
way the Chinese do dramas — it’s like being in a movie.