52 | October• 2018
LEARN TO LOVE LIVING ALONE
TOOL NO. 1 KNOW WHO
YOUWANTTOBE
Pickthreeadjectivesthatcap-
ture who you want to be. They will
change over time, but it is useful to
landthem,astheysetaplatformof
valuesonwhichtobasechoicesand
actions.Ifyouhavefacedsomehard
times,throwinacoupleofuplifting
ones such as ‘positive’, ‘courageous’,
‘kind’ and ‘capable’. Act like the per-
sonyouwanttobeandeventually
you become that person. Be the light
you seek.Ididn’tchoosetobealone.Fewof
usdo.Ifellintoitpost-divorce–not
with an elegant swan dive but with a
gracelessbellyflop.ButnowIhave
learntnotonlytoappreciateit,but
even to prefer it. I am happy, but it
tookawhiletogethere.
FORALLITSPRECIOUSGIFTSof
timeandspace,livingalonecomes
with snakes as well as ladders. Our
mettle is tested every single day.
Given our numbers, living alone
should be ‘The New Normal’, but
itdoesn’tfeellikeit.Webelongto
a different tribe. There are times I
have felt sheet-of-glass invisible and
diminishedbyasocietywhereIdon’t
seem to tick the boxes.
We have to be tough, resilient
andlearntodigdeep.Ihavedevel-
oped a protective carapace but am
awarethereisafinelinebetween
self-protection and coming across
as defensive. It’s a balancing act, and
sometimesitgetstome.Justwhen
I’mhavingagreatday,someone
might say something thoughtless
in passing, oblivious to its impact,
whichsendsmeintoatailspin.Itcan
gettiringconvincingeveryone(and
sometimesevenourselves)thatwe
like living alone.
However, I have learnt, embracing
a certain ethos can help make the
most of living alone. The following
seven tools can help you navigate the
treacherous shallows as well as the
joys of solo living.
I HAVE LEARNT TO
APPRECIATE LIVING
ALONE, AND NOW
I EVEN PREFER IT.
I AM HAPPY, BUT IT
TOOK A WHILEPHOTOS: (PREVIOUS SPREAD AND THIS PAGE) GETTY IMAGES