Reader’s Digest Australia & New Zealand – May 2019

May• 2019 | 55

ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES; CARTOON: HARLEY SCHWADRON

Nailing the Job

The village blacksmith finally

found an apprentice willing

to work long, hard hours. The

blacksmith instructed the boy,

“When I take the horseshoe out

of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil,

and when I nod my head, you hit

it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he

was told. Now he’s the village

blacksmith.

ValleyBugler.com

SILENT WITNESS

My parents sent me to mime camp

one summer. I still can’t talk about it.

reddit.com

TRUE COLOURS

Is maroon really just nav y red?

@Mezaphy

RUNNING THROUGH THE VEINS

I did some research, and it turns

out I’m super Irish. Even my blood

type is O apostrophe.

BRIAN KILEY, COMEDIAN

ILL FEELING

I went to the doctor and he said,

“You’ve got hypochondria.”

I said, “Not that as well!”

TIM VINE, COMEDIAN

Something Fishy

Give a man a fish and he eats

for a day. But teach a man to

fish and he’ll be like, “Um,

actually, “I know how to fish,

I’ll show you.”

And you’ll wish you had your

old fish so you could throw it at

him. APARNA NANCHERLA, COMEDIAN

DINER: Waiter, waiter, what’s

wrong with this fish?

WAITER: Long time no sea, sir.

From the internet

MATT: What do you get when

you cross a fishing lure with

a gym sock?

RICK: I don’t know. What?

MATT: A hook, line and stinker!