Reader's Digest

114 | July• 2018

I SURVIVED A STROKE

oneknewyet.Itwouldbeanother

36 hours before I was told what I

never ever thought possible: that

Imightbeparalysedononesideof

mybody.SoonIwastolearnthatnot

onlycouldInotmovebutwhenI

went to form words my tongue was

heavyandmyvocalcordstwisted.

My words were strangled.

AsIlaytheretheconfusionwas

overpowering. Everything seemed so

vague. So alien. Nothing made sense

no matter how hard I tried to slot a

sightorsoundintoacompartmentof

my brain.

In the afternoon of the second day

a woman came into my room and

saidIhadbeenassignedtoabedon

the fourth floor. Pat packed my be-

longingsandtheporterrolledmeup

to the acute-care ward past people

shuffling along in nightgowns and

patients in wheelchairs.

AssoonasIhadbeentransferred

fromthestretchertothebedacur-

tain was whipped around its track

and I was partitioned of from the rest

me onto a stretcher and whisked me
into a treatment room where they
inserted an IV and attached me to
monitoringmachines.Icouldhear
bleeps and beeps and people assur-
ingmeIwasingoodhands.
“Whatishappeningtome?”Iasked.
My voice sounded like an old phono-
graphrecordspinningtooslowly.he
wordsseemedheavyandthick.Isaw
Patstandinginacornerfearinher
eyes.
henextthingIknewmyclothes
werebeingremoved.Mypantscame
of.Myarmsroseabovemyheadand
my shirt slipped of.
“Aren’tyoualuckyman”anurse
told me. “You’ve got ive women un-
dressing you.”
Ilaughedandagreedbutitwas
dawningonmethatmymovements
were no longer voluntary. he lights
dimmed. Pat kissed me on the fore-
headanddeparted.Iwasalone.
Iremembernothingelseabout
that night except a vague recollec-
tion of being shunted back and forth
throughafluorescentglarenever
consciousofwhereIwasgoing.I
had been sedated which was a good
thing or I may have plummeted into
the black hole that engulfed me. I
curledupthinkingtheprenatalpo-
sition offered me the most reliable
protectionagainstfreefall.
WhenPatreturnedinthemorn-
ing she told me the doctors had con-
irmed the diagnosis – I had sufered
a stroke. How severe it had been no

IT’S UNSETTLING

TO HAVEYOUR

CHILDREN SEE YOU

SO VULNERABLE.

FOR A MOMENT I FELT

DESPERATE AND

ALMOST ASHAMED