PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES
Life etc life skills
because I feel undermined,’ or ‘I’m
sad because I thought I’d be at
a different point in my career by
now,’” David explains. “You might
deal with stress by delegating more
or saying no to opportunities, but if
you feel undermined or unchallenged,
that’s the wrong way to respond.”
3
FOCUS ON
THE PRIZE
Once you’ve identified your sketchy
thoughts and named them, it’s time
to flip them on their head. “Often
you experience fear, anger or doubt
when you feel one of your core
values is under threat,” says David.
“If you’re thinking, ‘I’m a terrible
friend/partner/daughter,’ you should
take it as a reminder that family and
friendship are important to you.”
Still not sure what’s making you
tick? Hall has the answer: “Instead
of just engaging in small talk with
your partner or friend, engage in
something a bit more real, asking
each other things such as, ‘What
do you value most in a friendship?’
or ‘How do you feel about your
relationship with your parents?’ The
answers can be very revealing.”
Or try David’s online exercise
(susandavid.com) where, from
a list of values – autonomy, trust,
belonging, etc – you highlight the
most important words for you,
and then identify how you can
satisfy them in your daily life.
4
THEN GO
FOR GOLD
Once you’ve figured out what matters
most to you, it’s about making small,
purposeful tweaks to your habits.
“People with strong core values are
protected from life’s transitions and
setbacks,” says David. “Think of an
athlete: they have a strong core, but
are flexible enough to deal with any
physical hurdles that come up.”
David recommends a process
she calls ‘piggybacking’ – attaching
new value-aligned habits to things
you’re doing already. It makes them
easier to sustain long-term. “Tiny
tweaks to your daily routine are
easier to implement than a total life
overhaul,” she says. “For example,
if being healthy is one of your core
values, but you always eat chocolate
at 4pm, keep a bowl of fruit on your
desk instead. If you spend evenings
on Facebook and it makes you feel
bad, block it on your phone at night.”
As Hall points out, “The reality is
life involves failure and rejection.
But once you’re agile enough to
see your emotions and understand
what’s meaningful to you, you can
come up with workable responses
that take you closer to the person
you want to be.” And that’s a great
finish line to aim for. WH
80
The percentage of Aussies
w h o d e a l w i t h s t r e s s by
focusing on the positives.
Source: Stress and Wellbeing
in Australia Survey
SEPTEMBER 2017 womenshealth.com.auƫąĈ