Why do we
love being
submissive
in the
bedroom?
In office hours we’re
all ‘power to the
woman!’ So why are
so many feminists
happy to hand over
the reins behind
closed doors?
be chained up and spanked.
If you haven’t figured it out
already, Mimi identifies as
sexually submissive. And she’s
not alone; many strongwilled
women who hold positions of
power in their daily life happily
relinquish control when it
comes to the boudoir.
Hang on a minute! You may
be thinking. Why would such
an avid feminist be willing to
degrade herself like that and be
treated as inferior to her partner?
But relinquishing authorityand choosing to be sexually
submissive can actually be an
act of power, says Mimi. And
if we’re honest, many women
enjoy being dominated in the
bedroom to some extent.The Submissive
Feminist
MIMI, 32, SYDNEY
‘You can certainly be both a
passionate, strong, loud, proud
feminist while also being a soft,
sweet, delightful submissive in
bed – and I know this because
it’s me. Sexual power play is
not a preference; it’s actually
a necessity for my pleasure.
I can’t fully enjoy sex if the
power dynamic isn’t imposed
upon me to some degree. I love
being smacked on the thighs
or across the face, whether it’s
with a ruler or a paddle, and
choking is extremely enjoyable
to me. Even something as
simple as him saying, “This
is all you’re good for,” “I own
you,” or “You mean nothing
to me” turns me on. It’s these
“degrading” comments that
I actually find empowering
and pleasurable.
The two characteristics –
me as a feminist activist and
as a sexual submissive – don’t
conflict with each other. I feel
it’s a balance and they actually
complement each other. I’m
regularly told by people that
I’m intimidating or that I have
a powerful presence in my
everyday life, so that’s precisely
why in my sexual life I relish
being able to finally, in one
blissful aspect of my life, be
able to let go and have some
one else take charge, make the
decisions and call the shots. It
allows me to leave behind who
I am and access this hidden
facet of myself. In the bedroom
I get to be meek, obedient,THE CLOCK STRIKES
5pm and Mimi*, 32, begins
packing up her desk. She’s had
another satisfying day at her
work, The Sydney Feminists
Inc, educating and increasing
people’s awareness about
gender equality and fighting
for women’s rights. As she
leaves the office, she gets a
tingle of excitement thinking
about the night ahead with her
man. She’s trying to decide
whether she wants to role play
a rape scenario with him, or