The_Essential_Manager_s_Handbook

72 / LEADING OTHERS

Demonstrating positive regard

The relationship between you and the

person you are helping is critical to

the success of the coaching, mentoring,

or counseling you undertake with them.

For a helping relationship to be successful

it is important to hold the person being

helped in “unconditional positive regard.”

This means that you accept and exhibit

warm regard for the person needing help

as a person of unconditional self-worth—

a person of value no matter what the

conditions, problems, or feelings. If

you can communicate positive regard, it

provides a climate of warmth and safety

because the person feels liked and prized

as a person. This is a necessary condition

for developing the trust that is crucial in

a helping relationship.

Start by discussing

the purpose of the

helping session.

Before you speak to someone

about how to help them

improve their performance,

make sure you have acquired

all the facts about the situation.

Conducting a

helping session

Take time to think about what

type of help the situation

requires; consider how the

person might react and how

they might feel about what

you are going to discuss.

Try to make the

person feel comfortable

and at ease.

Establish a nondefensive

climate, characterized by open

communication and trust.

The person being helped

should be held in “unconditional

positive regard”

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