Academic Writing for International Students of Business

With these points in mind, the introduction could be rewritten as follows:

1.11:Rewriting and Proofreading 77

In the modern commercial society of today, the success of companies does not just

rely on the external business environment, but more importantly depends on the

internal management of human resources, due to the inseparable relationship

between employee performance and the achievement of companies. Thus, the

employees play a significant role in the development of companies, and their

performance is determined by ability, work environment and motivation.

Nowadays, organisations pay increasing attention to the importance of motivating

employees. This essay will present a clear theoretical framework of work

motivation, and then concentrate on evaluating the empirical relevance of those

theories.

In the current commercial environment, the success of companies does not just rely

on the external business climate, but more importantly depends on the internal

management of human resources, due to the inseparable relationship between

employee performance and the achievement of companies (Agarwala, 2003).

Clearly, the employees play a significant role in the development and achievements

of companies, and their performance is determined by ability, work environment

and motivation (Griffin, 1990).

Consequently, employee motivation is an increasingly important concern for

companies. This essay will first present a clear theoretical framework of work

Suggestions for improvement

(a) Rather short (100 words) for introduction to a 2,000-word essay

(b)

(c)

(d)

(e)