Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Maybe your car broke down, or the water heater is about to
give its last breath, or your kids are acting up and you can’t get
a handle on them. You’re exhausted and the stress is showing on
your face—he can hear it in your voice. If he asks you, “What’s
the matter?” that’s a good start. He’s been around you long
enough to know when you’re not your normal self. That’s prog-
ress. But now, if you answer him with, “My car broke down and
I don’t have the money to fix it right now so I’m just a little
worried about how I’m going to get to work tomorrow,” and he
says, “Okay, well, call me when you figure it out,” you can
scratch him off the benefits list. Be clear: you’re not asking him
for money to get the car fixed. You’re just trying to see if he’s
going to probe deeper, and find out if there’s anything he can do
to help, whether it’s to give you some advice on how to fix the
problem, or step in to help you fix it. Did he offer to get up an
hour earlier so he could drive you to work while your car is in
the shop? Or give you the number to a guy who can fix your car
for a deep discount? Did he offer to get up under the hood and
take a look himself? Or tell you about his friend who owns a car
shop and might be willing to do a favor for him—and you?
Real men extend themselves to women they care about. If you
have a problem and your man does not extend himself—he doesn’t
try to make it better—this is not a good candidate for benefits.