fear tends to abound—a time that’s about confusion as much as it’s
about enthusiasm. Parched for a sense of right and wrong, our youngsters
are even more thirsty for connection. This stage can be annoying for us
because we find ourselves wedded to our children’s school, friends, and
teachers—elements of their life that may be quite different from our
preference. However, if we are awake, this is also a stage in which we get
to shape our children’s behavior in profound ways, encouraging the
virtues we wish them to exhibit: generosity, compassion, empathy,
awareness, and focus.
If you are a wise parent, you will fulfill the background role of
offering a grounded perspective of who your child is, for these are the
years in which children first experiment with the adult roles they will
later inhabit. As you engage with them in the drama of life, it’s vital you
contour their personality toward wholeness. You cannot blame them later
for what you fail to teach them now. As you provide the support they
require, they gain a sense of their individuality, competence, and worth
—and also of their limitations.
Since it’s in this stage of their development that children first spread
their wings, you especially need to be sure you don’t clip them as a result
of your own needs and biases. Yes, you may influence the direction in
which they fly, or even the speed of their flight, but the fact remains they
are ready to fly.MIDDLE SCHOOL: THE CHALLENGE OF “BEING
THERE” FOR OUR CHILDREN
The middle school years are a time of tremendous transition, often