One technique for breaking this bad habit is called “Strategic Training
Session.” It is somewhat involved and requires planning and cooperation
from friends or family members. Done once, the lesson will take, and
public kid-attacks will be a thing of the past.
Heather tried it with her seven-year-old daughter, Phoebe. She phoned
her best friend one evening and said, “I’ve been having trouble with
Phoebe when I go shopping, and I need your help. Would you station
yourself at the pay phone outside Wal-Mart tomorrow morning at 10:30?
I have a feeling you’re going to get a call.” Heather then filled her friend
in on the plan.
The next day, Heather and Phoebe went shopping, and true to form,
Phoebe became her usual obnoxious self even before the automatic doors
of the store had closed behind them. In a quiet voice, Heather said,
“Phoebe, would you rather behave or go sit in your room?”
Phoebe looked quizzically at her mom as if to say, “Get real, Mom.
You’d take me home after you’ve come all the way down here to shop?”
Then she ratcheted her attack up a notch. The next thing Phoebe knew,
she was being led to a pay phone near the front of the store, where
Heather dialed a number and said, “Shopping is not fun today. Please
come.” Thirty seconds later, Phoebe’s eyes grew as big as pie plates when
her mom’s friend strolled through the door, took Phoebe’s hand, and said,
“Let’s go to your room. You can wait for your mom there.”
Phoebe was escorted home and sent to her room. Heather could then
make her rounds in unharried bliss. Phoebe was allowed out of her room
when Heather returned. She was very happy to see her mom again, while
Heather was friendly and pleasant because she’d had a great time
shopping. Heather taught her little girl that obnoxious behavior has
consequences.
Strategic training sessions can be arranged with a spouse or even an
older sibling. It is not necessary to take the misbehaving child home — to
the car is far enough. There is absolutely no reason for our kids to get
away with hellish behavior in public. One or at most two strategic
training sessions can cure this problem.
lu
(lu)
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