PEARL 23

Homework

Our kids’ homework is their problem. It’s their pencils that have to

move, their minds that must be stretched, and their report cards that have
to be brought home. Far too many parents get sucked into the trap that
somehow their children’s schoolwork is the parents’ problem. They hang
ultimatums over their kids’ heads. They don’t let their kids go out and
play or watch television until the homework is completed. They deprive
and threaten and scream and shout. And if the homework is not done and
the grades are not good, they lower the boom.
Our parental responsibility is to provide our kids with the opportunity
to do their homework. Whether it be for a half hour or an hour or even
two hours, our children must sit down at a table or desk with their
schoolbooks nearby. That’s the opportunity. We allow the kids to choose
the place (dining room, kitchen, or their room) and time. We even allow
them to choose whether to study or not. After all, there are two ways to
learn: through actually doing their homework or they can think about
their homework. Either way, they’ll learn — although the lessons will be
different. Their teachers at school, who mete out the consequences, might
not accept the second way of learning.
Christine effectively handled the homework issue with her son Ian in
this way:

CHRISTINE:  “Well,  Ian,    it’s    time    for the homework    hour.   We’ve   set

aside   this    hour    for you to  do  your    homework.   Are you ready?”

IAN:    “Aw,    Mom,    do  I   have    to?”

CHRISTINE:  “Well,  you can learn   either  by  doing   your    homework