The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically I

106 The Explosive Child

Adult (Empathy, with an attempt to clarify): I’ve

noticed that homework has been a struggle

lately. But I don’t think I understand why that is.

What’s up with the homework?

Child: It’s too hard for me.

Adult (Refined Empathy, with another attempt to

clarify): It’s too hard for you. Is there a certain part

that’s hard for you?

Child: The writing part. At school they don’t make

me do as much writing as you do.

Adult (Refined Empathy): Ah, the writing part is hard

for you and I make you do more writing than they

do at school.

Child: Yeah.

Adult (Define the Problem): I didn’t know they don’t

make you write as much at school. I guess I’m just

concerned that if you don’t practice the writing,

then it will always be really hard for you.

You’ve got two concerns on the table. No turning
back now.

Invitation

The third step of Plan B entails having the child and
adult brainstorm potential solutions to the problem that
has now been defined by their respective concerns. This